The A.S.R.C., or Anti-Slash Raccoon Coalition, is an elite group of guerilla raccoons committed to wiping out slash. Slash deals with romantic love between two males, and encompasses both visual and literary representations of these relationships. Thousands of people from all corners of the globe have come to depend on slash as an enjoyable form of recreation and stress relief. The raccoons are trying to take that away, and it is our belief that they must be stopped, no matter the cost.

Lark, just one of many victims of the A.S.R.C., recounts her deeply disturbing experience:

"So here I am, sitting at my computer in my room, reading Caroline's Shall We Dance. Right in the middle of the lemon scene too, when i look over and there's a raccoon staring at me. Don't get me wrong, I'm not afraid of the little vermin, although it is much larger than i thought it would be, it's just that...there it was..looking at me ... and it came back, then scampered around on my roof for a good 15 minutes (I sleep in the attic). How am I suppose to concentrate on 1x2 exchange of love when a freaking raccoon is running around, possibly terrorizing my cat?"

How can this young girl enjoy her slash when her cat is in danger? I ask you, how can she? She can't. It is evident that the raccoon in question acted with the express purpose of ruining Lark's slash. This event is but an isolated instance in a long chain of such occurences. Lark's testimony is the first eye witness account we have had, and confirms our suspicions of the existence of the A.S.R.C. We at the Agency believe that the A.S.R.C. is one of the more serious threats endangering the mental health of the population today.



Through Lark's groundbreaking testimony, we have ascertianed the identity of the raccoon covering her area of residence. He is believed to be one of three leaders of the A.S.R.C., and goes by the alias "Bandit Joe." We believe that the destruction of the A.S.R.C. is dependent on the capture of "Bandit Joe," and urge you to contact us immediatly if you have any information concerning him.

Want to help in the fight for slash? Spread the word! Post one of the banners below on your own site and link it back to http://www.lodenocity.com/asrc.htm . The Agency thanks you.






Watch this space for new developments in the ongoing struggle against the Anti-Slash Raccoon Coalition.


- Loden, acting President of the Agency for the Protection and Promotion of Slash


Contact Loden